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Aviation Truths |
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Steve Gromak - May 24,2007
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Aviation Truths <br /><br /><br /><br />The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline baggage. <br /> <br />An old pilot is one who can remember when flying was dangerous and sex was safe. <br /> <br />Both optimists and pessimists contribute to the society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute. <br /> <br />Airlines have really changed, now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant. <br /> <br />If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage/classic helicopter fly-ins? <br /> <br />Death is just nature's way of telling you to watch your airspeed or rotor RPM. <br /> <br />Real planes use only a single stick to fly. This is why bulldozers & helicopters -- in that order -- need two.<br /> <br />There are only three things the copilot should ever say: <br />1. Nice landing, Sir. <br />2. I'll buy the first round. <br />3. I'll take the ugly one. <br /> <br />As a pilot, only two bad things can happen to you and one of them will. <br /> a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your last flight. <br /> b. One day you will walk out to the aircraft not knowing that it is your last flight. <br /> <br />There are Rules and there are Laws. The Rules are made by men who think that they know better how to fly your airplane than you. <br />Laws (of Physics) were made by the Great One. You can, and sometimes should, suspend the Rules but you can never suspend the Laws. <br /> <br />About Rules: <br /> a. The rules are a good place to hide if you don't have a better idea and the talent to execute it. <br /> b. If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless performance. (e.g., If you fly under a bridge, don't hit the bridge.) <br /> <br />The ideal pilot is the perfect blend of discipline and aggressiveness. <br /> <br />The medical profession is the natural enemy of the aviation profession. <br /> <br />Ever notice that the only experts who decree that the age of the pilot is over are people who have never flown anything? <br />Also, in spite of the intensity of their feelings that the pilot's day is over I know of no expert who has volunteered to be <br />a passenger in a non-piloted aircraft. <br /> <br />Before each flight, make sure that your bladder is empty and your fuel tanks are full! <br /> <br />He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he that demands one iota more is a fool. <br /> <br />There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night. <br /> <br />The aircraft limits are only there in case there is another flight by that particular aircraft. <br />If subsequent flights do not appear likely, there are no limits. <br /> <br />Flying is a great way of life for men who want to feel like boys, but not for those who still are. <br /> <br />Flying is a hard way to earn an easy living. <br /> <br />Forget all that stuff about lift, gravity, thrust and drag. An airplane flies because of money. <br />If God had meant man to fly, He'd have given him more money. <br /> <br />If black boxes survive air crashes -- why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? <br /> <br />'If the Wright brothers were alive today Wilbur would have to fire Orville to reduce costs.' President, DELTA Airlines <br /> <br />In the Alaska bush I'd rather have a two hour bladder and three hours of gas than vice versa. <br /> <br />It's not that all airplane pilots are good-looking. Just that good-looking people seem more capable of flying airplanes. <br />Or so seasoned observers contend. A matter of self-confidence? No doubt, no doubt. <br /> <br />I've flown in both pilot seats, can someone tell me why the other one is always occupied by an idiot? <br /> <br />Son, you're going to have to make up your mind about growing up and becoming a pilot. You can't do both. <br /> <br />There are only two types of aircraft -- fighters and targets. <br /> <br />You define a good flight by negatives: you didn't get hijacked, you didn't crash, you didn't throw up, you weren't late, <br />you weren't nauseated by the food. So you're grateful. <br /> <br />New FAA Motto: 'We're not happy till you're not happy!'<br />
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